Interpretation of The Human Condition

May 26th, 2007 at 04:57am Keith Hemstreet 8

Riding the bus to and from work each day, I can’t help but observe with great interest the lives of others.  For me the buses act as a virtual laboratory, providing insight into the human condition. Snooping is my favorite way to pass time aboard public transport, and the buses offer up many subjects.

For example, there is the overly touchy couple that appears to have recently fallen in love.  Most mornings I find them hand in hand, staring into each other’s eyes as they discuss what to do after work.

Girl: Should we rent a movie?  That would be fun!  There is that cute little movie I’ve been dying to see…you know, the one with what’s her name…he-he.”
Guy: I’ll whip up a special dish.  How does Mediterranean sound?
Girl: Oh, that sounds delicious.
Guy: We could even crack a bottle of wine.
Girl: Yummy.

Given the couple’s inseparable nature, I was more than surprised to find them standing ten feet apart as they awaited Thursday’s bus.  “What’s this?” I thought. “Trouble in paradise, perhaps?”

Not only were they ten feet apart, each looked in the opposite direction of the other as if scouting for eagles in the morning sky.  When the bus arrived, they boarded separately and sat several rows apart.  Again, great care was taken by each to avoid acknowledging the other.  On the window just above the guy’s head someone had written, “I love cock” in the spring dust. “That’s perfect,” I thought.

Observing this poor couple, their sad faces reflecting the pain and torment that plagued their minds, I couldn’t help but laugh.  It was like a film school student’s music video project for Neil Diamond’s, “Love On The Rocks,” or some equally lame song was playing out right before my eyes. When the girl departed the bus, I noticed the guy sneaking a quick glance, his lips pursed in remorse.  I felt like yelling, “That’s a wrap! Great work everybody!”

This silent one act play was certainly a treat, but even when there isn’t a Groucho Marx’s type performance staged for my viewing pleasure, there are interesting conversations to be heard.

Like the kids telling the story of their friend who got expelled from school.  “He got kicked out for lighting people’s backs on fire,” a high school aged boy said.  “He would douse people with lighter fluid and then flick matches at them.  This one dude he set on fire totally flipped out and started rolling around on the ground and shit.”

Or the college students discussing the unpredictability of their future. “It’s so hard not knowing what it is you’re going to do with your life,” the girl said.  “It really causes a huge amount of stress.”

Of course, there are always those who have nothing better to discuss than the weather.

“How about this May snow?” a woman says.
“Hey, it might not be the last.  Actually, I would almost guarantee we’ll see another storm.”
“You’re so right.  Remember the June snow storm we had a couple years ago.”
“You bet I do. That was something else.”
“Welcome to the Rockies.”
“You said it.”

So what conclusions have I drawn based on my exhaustive study?  We humans are comical, pathetic, emotional, confused, stupid, introspective, loud, understanding and ignorant beings, among other things.

I also discovered that riding the bus with a conscious awareness of those around you can improve ones health. They say laughter is the best medicine, so here I offer a slight revision on the age-old wisdom. “A bus ride a day keeps the doctor away,” and if you happen to pack an apple in your brown-bagged lunch, even better.

Entry Filed under: Aspen, People, Comedy