CON GAMES: Why Gay Ski Week Creeps Me Out—And That’s A Good Thing

January 16th, 2008 at 07:57am Michael Conniff 2

Okay, I admit it: I’m a card-carry liberal and Gay Ski Week in Aspen still creeps me out.Here’s one example: I never go to the wild and wooly ski parade down Aspen Mountain, though I’ve been close enough downtown to hear the whoopin’ and hollerin’. Not only have I never been, but I have never gone, and I have no intention to ever make it a point to go.Like I said: Aspen Gay Ski Week creeps me out. And that’s a good thing.

This argument will not come in the guise of “some of my best friends are gay people”—or, with apologies to Lenny Bruce: “Joe Louis was a hell of a fighter.” What I’m saying is that when one confronts “the other”—the person, place, or thing beyond our immediate experience and/orcomprehension—one can get the creeps. Feeling a little creeped out is normal because I belong to a transitional generation when it comes to gender.

I was born in 1954 and came of age when gays were all but in the closet. Remember those times? I remember a friend with an uncle, mysteriously unmarried, who came to visit his married sister and somehow never seemed to be near marriage himself. Everyone knew their uncle was different, of course, because he acted differently. He never drew attention to himself—he was not outrageous—but he was in the closet and he stayed there unto his death.

The good news for everyone is that doesn’t happen so much anymore. The other night my very straight son brought home a young and beautiful gay woman who was impressive in every way—smart, funny, sensible, with an impressive sense of self. I was impressed by her for sure, but also by my son’s indifference to her sexuality in the face of her appeal as a person.

I’m tempted to say it didn’t matter that she was a lesbian, but in fact it does matter in defining who she is and how she will move through the world. “The other,” in other words, is no longer so different from you and me—a welcome progression.

Due to the happenstance of my conception, I grew up in a world where gays were considered weird or bad or just plain strange, but that’s no longer the case. Thanks to abject liberalism, we (and I) have thankfully moved into a place where sexual orientation is way down the list of what really counts about a person—the content of his or her character.

What else could possibly matter?

Still, Gay Ski Week in Aspen weirds me out. Other than the parade, there’s very little outrageousness during the light of day, when I’m around, and maybe some day the parade will go away and I won’t be so squirrelly. But I also believe it’s okay for me to be a little creeped out by the whole thing. It’s okay to be creeped out as long as you accept that all Americans, without exception, have every right to every right just like anyone else.

Entry Filed under: Immigration, Aspen, Colorado, Con Games, People, The West, United Post

11 Comments Add your own

1. Hugh520 | January 17th, 2008 at 6:24 am

I guess if I'm honest, I'm a bit weirded-out too. Sexual orientation being so fundamental and all, but I think the "creep-out" part is less about gayness per se, but gayness as a group package, gayness traveling en mass with it's flag flying as it were. You had a house-guest and were impressed and inrigued. Now imagine 500 and a parade.

Furthermore, If I wanted on the bus, a polite travel agent would be telling me, "I'm sorry Mr. McCormack, but you have to be homosexual to join this ski-trip, savvy? As Captain Jack Sparrow would say.

So, there's an exclusivity clause at work here as well -- which is as it should be. I may welcome them, but this week, they're gathering like a team, a team whose jersey I can't wear --I didn't make the cut.
2. Jerry Bovino | January 17th, 2008 at 9:34 am

I think Gay Ski Week is great. It doesn't freak me out any more than Black ski trips, Baptist ski trips, Boy Scout ski trips or heterosexual ski trips. In fact, I will take the Gays over the Baptists any time. More fun and less wasted Holy Water!

Gay ski week is one of those cool, idiosyncratic, sometimes outrageous events that helps to bridge current-day Aspen with the 60s and 70s. I thought we were all lamenting the loss of the "old days," and we craved messy vitality. It seems when we get any kind of real messy vitality, some of us still get freaked out. Do we really want a homogenized, pasteurized ski town? Naaaaah......we will leave that to the folks in Peoria.

By the way Michael, didn't a video camera catch you tapping your foot in a stall at the Minneapolis airport?
3. Gay Damien | January 17th, 2008 at 10:03 am

So you're basically saying you're old and closed minded, and you're completely OK with that. Nice! Keep up the good work Michael.
4. Hugh520 | January 17th, 2008 at 10:29 am

Micheal's mind is about as closed as our southern border. We're talking about comfort levels here, and good old fashioned straight talk as opposed to bland homogenized political correctness.

Damien you are overlooking one thing in your rush to judgment -- the very reason for gathering en masse is to have fun certainly, but it surely also includes enhanced feelings of comfort.
5. Gay Damien | January 17th, 2008 at 12:30 pm

"Good old fashioned straight talk." Nice phrasing. And as one of the gays "creeping" Michael out this week, I say go screw yourself; you have the other 51 weeks.

"I was born in 1954 and came of age when gays were all but in the closet. Remember those times?"

Are you reflecting on those times as the good ol' days or something?

It's 2008, no one really cares how weird or creeped out they make you feel. Maybe we'll all be better people when people who were born in 1954 who still have 1954 attitudes are gone.
6. Hugh520 | January 17th, 2008 at 1:48 pm

There's a key phrase under Aspen Post's "about" page: "And those of us who care enough to listen before they talk back."
ad hominem -- look it up. It would be so much more interesting if you could leave this part out.
7. Michael Conniff | January 17th, 2008 at 1:55 pm

[I say go screw yourself; you have the other 51 weeks.]

Gay Damien:

I'm going to assume you're gay though it makes absolutely no difference when it comes to what I'm going to say.

You got the creepy part down but missed my point about creepy: "And that's a good thing."

The point was simply that mine is a transitional generation, and that my son's generation is already more accepting than mine will ever be. And that, too, is a good thing.

You're welcome to your ire, but I am also welcome to my feelings--unlike yours, they arrive without animosity or rancor or anything that could be construed as negative. This is a phase we're moving through on the way to equality. I would say we're halfway there.

Were you always openly gay, Gay Damien? Or did you have to hide it? I hope it was easy for you; my guess is it was not because you too are probably in the midst of a transitional generation. At best, you seem bitter, which smacks of a the transition I'm talking about.

Screw me? Interesting choice of words. I'm happy you can screw anyone who will have you. You don't have to get nasty about it. It's a free country, brother.

Best, Con Man!
8. Mitch.Mulhall | January 17th, 2008 at 3:33 pm

Many years ago, my wife and I befriended an elderly public figure who, as it happens, is gay.

One summer, we were invited to his house for what turned out to be an extended family picnic. There were kids playing hide-and-seek among the Aspens, barbecue smoke rising off the grill, and lots of conversation.

Our friend’s partner, Bill, was tending the barbecue and visiting with others near the fire pit. When he saw me, he made a point of introducing me to his sisters and their husbands. We talked and watched the kids play.

As the sun set, Bill rang a dinner bell and began serving plates of barbecued chicken, hamburgers, and hot dogs. There must have been thirty adults and half that many kids, and Bill kept serving until every single one of them had a plate of food.

When it looked to me like Bill might dish up a plate for himself, several children ran up to him…

“Uncle Bill, uncle Bill, can we roast marshmallows and tell ghost stories?”

“You bet,” Bill said, “The marshmallows are waiting for you on the kitchen counter.”

With that, the kids charged up the deck stairs, which was when Bill turned to me and said,

“Little do they know, I’m their Aunt…”

We both busted out laughing.

Sadly, Bill passed away a few years ago, leaving his long-time partner a widower. Despite my essentially Biblical views on homosexuality, Bill would never have said "screw yourself" to me. That would have been out of character for him.

Cheers,
9. Hugh520 | January 17th, 2008 at 4:11 pm

And there you go Damien. Without any ad hominem attacks a point has been made and shared humanity blessed.

If you're going to speak, speak kindly. "In the absence of love, there ain't nothin in this world worth fighting for."

Rent it: It's a quote from a little known Kevin Kostner movie called, "The War."
10. Gay Damien | January 17th, 2008 at 5:30 pm

For the record I have always been out and proud. at least as long as i knew what "gay" was.

And to your point about progress. You should, as a supposedly liberal-minded, educated man, be leading the charge of progression, and not waiting for the generations to pass.

So you need to get over what personally creeps you out, and start actively changing your beliefs and attitudes. We already have enough people not willing to change. Don't be one of them.
11. Mitch.Mulhall | January 17th, 2008 at 10:03 pm

Michael Conniff describes "a place where sexual orientation is way down the list of what really counts about a person—the content of his or her character."

Gay Damien says, "you need to get over what personally creeps you out, and start actively changing your beliefs and attitudes. We already have enough people not willing to change. Don't be one of them."

You pick.

Cheers,