The Aspen Tractor Beam Effect

April 24th, 2008 at 06:39am Michael Conniff 2

One of the people at the newspaper who hired me when I came to Aspen five years ago told me about “the tractor beam effect.”

That’s a poetic way of saying that once people leave Aspen they always come back, inexorably drawn to the mountains, the valley, the rivers, and certain ineffable things that have no name.

True enough: all of that speaks to why we’re so lucky to be here. But it’s also another way of saying people leave—they leave all the time—and that we’ve experienced this directly and personally. At least three key people, great friends, will no longer live here full-time come 2009.

The latest are Matt and Laura Pfohl of Missouri Heights, who are making plans to move to Denver in the near-term, mainly for business reasons connected to their company, Dream Outdoors. Another couple comes from Denver and moved back so he could go to graduate school. Another went back to Washington, D.C., and is here full-time for only a chunk of time in the summer.

I compare this to other places I’ve lived and know for a fact that it’s substantially different. One example: we lived for fifteen years in a small Vermont city and when we go back everybody is still there. I mean everybody. When somebody pulls up stakes in that town it is big news. The community almost literally feels the loss and tries to figure out why it happened.

Look at it this way: most people with any skills can make twice as much with half the cost of living somewhere else. (In some cases, this is not an exaggeration.) They can live palatially compared to Aspen, finding a home that gives them far more for their buck. And they can live a dramatically more normal American life than most people find in Aspen.

What does it mean? For one thing, we can’t help but wonder whether we’re next—they have radio stations in Denver, don’t they?—and we think about what keeps us here (the obvious) and what might make us leave (the equally obvious).

Most of all what I think of is what life is like or will be like without such close friends close by. They haven’t disappeared, and we are certain to see them when we visit or they alight back here because of the aforesaid tractor beam. Still it’s not the same. Maybe it’s just that time marches on much more quickly when you live in such a great place to live.

See you around.

Entry Filed under: Real Estate, Basalt, Carbondale, Aspen, Colorado, Family, The West, Aspen Life Post, United Post, Spirituality

13 Comments Add your own

1. Kit O'Carra | April 25th, 2008 at 6:49 am

All very valid points, Michael. Some people might remember my blog of November 28, 2006 --- The Valley of Acquaintances. As beautiful as the valley is, and as much as I loved what I had hoped it would be for me during both of my attempts at living there, I have to say that the past ten years were the worst years of my life. Strangely, it had nothing to do with economics. I'm one of those misfits who values friendships much more than money. I couldn't see myself living one more year there without one single true friend.
2. alpha6 | April 29th, 2008 at 8:59 am

"You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."
-Dale Carnegie
3. Kit O'Carra | April 29th, 2008 at 9:20 pm

I've read the book. Too bad Dale Carnegie never lived in Woody Creek. I could have used the book based on that lifestyle and influences.

The point is, alpha6, that the people I trusted enough to become friends with weren't what anyone would want as a friend, and I began to feel like a magnet for the ones who had their own self-indulgences in mind. I never had problems making friends before or after my ten years in the valley. After a few months in a new latitude and attitude, I could write a 2,000 word blog of my successes in my new and welcoming word.

Please don't misunderstand my words for a tremendous dislike for the valley, or even for Woody Creek. I was simply trying to bring out the fact that it seems to be much more difficult making true friendships that last when you have so many people in a transient stage of life, giving an average of two years as their attempt at making life work for them in Aspen. Most would call it quits and move on. I can name plenty of wonderful acquaintances that I know who are still there, but only one who I can call a true friend, and even he left Aspen after 37 years.
4. fritters | April 30th, 2008 at 7:52 am

Aspen can be a magical place for visitors. I loved visiting Aspen over the past 10 years and I loved it more because I was visiting a very close friend of mine who lived there and understood why Aspen is such a special place.

I am not sure whether to take alpha6's quote as an insinuation towards Kit or as a "too late, you should have tried this" helpful hint. In either case, I can guarantee you that Kit is one of the most genuine, honest and truest friend anyone could have. I always tell her she is generous to a fault because she trusts too soon, offers her help without any expectations, and is always the one person you can count on. All of these qualities in her were what worked against her with the people who used her for their own gain. No one should jump to any conclusions as to why Kit, or anyone else in her position, found it impossible to connect on the same level of friendship in Aspen.

People come and go without so much as a two week notice. How can anyone make a lasting friendship when 97% of the people you meet in Aspen don't stick around?

I'm glad Kit moved back into the real world. I know she is happy too. I hear it in her voice and I see it in her letters.
5. Kit O'Carra | April 30th, 2008 at 10:19 am

Thanks, Mom.
6. alpha6 | April 30th, 2008 at 10:27 am

No slight to Kit was intended.....

I was in my "famous quotes" mode...
7. Kit O'Carra | April 30th, 2008 at 8:42 pm

alpha6 wrote: "You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people.."

I used to think so, but these days they call that 'stalking.'
;-)

No slight taken. Being Irish and falling under the blanket coverage of Murphy's Law, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn't.

Hey! Maybe some people are better off as long distance friends. There's a possibility I hadn't thought of before. The Con Man wants me to keep blogging from Oregon, even though it wonders me why anyone in Aspen would care. I could be the misfit muse who takes your mind off the weekly wants and demands of the city council.
8. Mitch Mulhall | April 30th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

[why anyone in Aspen would care...]

Aren't you setting your expectations, e'hem, lower than you should?

Cheers,
9. Kit O'Carra | May 1st, 2008 at 12:42 pm

I have adopted Alice Walker's quote as my new motto:

"Expect nothing, live frugally on surprise."
10. Mitch Mulhall | May 1st, 2008 at 10:33 pm

Hell, I've got no answers. I only hope you're happier on the coast than you were here...

Cheers,
11. Kit O'Carra | May 2nd, 2008 at 8:05 am

I already found the answer, Mitch. Maybe a little later than I should have, but still... I found it.
12. Kit O'Carra | May 2nd, 2008 at 8:07 am

My video reply didn't appear. I'll try it again.
13. Kit O'Carra | May 2nd, 2008 at 9:49 am

I'm bummed. Help me out, Mitch. I pasted the embedded code for the video, both before and after changing the profile settings from WYSIWYG and html code. How do I get the video to appear?