Stop The Madness-Lock Up The Knives
August 1st, 2008 at 07:50pm Mitch Mulhall 171
Knives have made a lot of news lately.
In Brazil, Mohammed Dali Carvalho dos Santos stabbed his girlfriend Care Marie Burke to death and dismembered her body. Police found him out because he accidently left her torso on a river bank—inside his suitcase.
In Dubai, award-winning singer Suzan Tamin was found dead, a victim of multiple stab wounds, in her Dh2.8 million apartment.
In Canada, Vince Weiguang Li of Edmonton stabbed 22-year-old Tim McLean to death on a Greyhound Bus. Vince also dismembered the victim’s body with a knife.
In London, just last night a woman was stabbed in the streets of Battersea. She was taken to a hospital at 9:20 pm, where she perished.
Death by stabbing is all too common. If only it were it possible to limit knife ownership, we could curb this unnecessary form of violence.
Although I would personally like to see as many civilian-owned knives eliminated from mainstream society as possible, I realize that this is not a politically realistic goal. Thus, I present my own, seven-point plan for knife control. If adopted, this plan can help put an end to knife violence once and for all.
1. A national system for registering knives. This system must be national. Any state-by-state implementation will surely result in inconsistent statutes that would make it possible, for example, to obtain butcher knives, or even machetes, in states with less restrictive laws. A national system is a must.
2. Instant background checks on people attempting to buy knives or wet stones. Felons and ex-cons should not have access to knives, and many misdemeanors and juvenile crimes should also count against knife ownership. Additionally, sushi chefs, butchers, meat-packing plant employees, and recreational fishermen should be licensed and required to lock-up their cutlery when not in use.
3. Stiffer sentences for knife crimes. It almost goes without saying.
4. Concealed-carry permits for pocket knives. Pocket knife ownership should be discouraged, but where this is not possible, pocket knives of any size with blades that are sharper than kindergarten scissors should require a concealed carry permit.
5. Knife education. Many knives are involved in accidents that could easily have been prevented with just a little care or forethought. Knife purchasers should be required to take lessons in knife safety, at their own expense. Alton Brown and Emeril Legasse could branch out, offering intense crash-courses in knife safety, in real-kitchen situations.
6. General education. Study after study has concluded that there is a direct correlation between lack of education and violent crime. Every dollar spent on education now will prevent countless dollars worth of crime damage in the future. Think of all the private and public funds used to pay for knife violence—hospital bills, funerals, insurance bills, say nothing of the actual cost of buying knives. Invest that money in education and watch the crime rate drop.
7. Hand grip ID tagging. This is technologically probably still in the future, but it would be a good goal to work for. The theory is, each knife is "registered" to its owner’s palm prints, and only that person can unsheathe the blade. If another person tries, the knife will simply not come out. Thus, stolen knives become useless and cannot harm anybody in the course of a crime.
My seven-point plan is certainly not foolproof, but I firmly believe that as a basis for future policy, these steps and others can stem the world-wide scourge of madness that is knife violence. Just think, had previous generations been courageous enough to embrace this thinking, Sharon Tate's child would be on the verge of turning 39.
Cheers,
10 Comments Add your own
1. reckless G | August 2nd, 2008 at 7:31 am
Mitch! This is friggin' funny! One of your best posts yet. Thanks for the laugh.
2. Kit O'Carra | August 2nd, 2008 at 8:17 am
I look forward to the night when I can get a full night's rest and sleep without waking before the sun comes up, just knowing that I am living in a much safer world without knives.
Rest assured that TSA is doing their part to end this madness. On a recent check-in procedure I was being scanned through all of the detectors, unknowingly carrying a one-inch promotional Swiss knife that had been hidden in the crevices for years of the purse I had chosen to take on the trip with me. After three passes through the xray and a thorough hand search by one of TSA's best, the inch long weapon was confiscated and I was grateful that I had not been taken into custody. I was let off with a warning and shamed for trying to appear as a solid citizen in good standing with our nation.
3. reckless G | August 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 am
Kit,
I had a similar experience at the Glenwood Springs County Courthouse. I keep a multi-tool in a purse pocket. When my purse was x-rayed and the offending implement was found, I had to make a special trip back to my car or risk losing my precious tool.
It was a situation that tested my Taoist practice of acceptance. In fact I recall making a very un-Taolike comment to the guards.
I learned my lesson though, now I leave all of my knives in the car when I visit the courthouse...as should a solid citizen in good standing with our nation.
4. Mitch Mulhall | August 2nd, 2008 at 12:37 pm
I carry my laptop in a backpack. I also carry a large, home-made hunting knife in my pack.
I recently traveled to NYC for a meeting with a major financial company. Rather than checking a bag, I packed everything in my back pack. It wasn't until I was pulling my pack out of the cab of my truck that I noticed the end of my knife's braided leather wrist strap hanging from the side pocket. I pulled the knife out of the pack and slid it under the driver's seat, pleased to have avoided what would have been an interesting experience with the TSA officials at Sardy Field...
Cheers,
5. Mitch Mulhall | August 2nd, 2008 at 10:59 pm
Hmmm. I've got to think that on the OR coast, Kit's gott'a be looking at a lot of this:
Cheers,
6. Kit O'Carra | August 4th, 2008 at 6:51 am
Absolutely right! Back in Woody Creek I knew that if I washed my car, it would rain the next day. Out here if I wash it, the word gets out to the gulls and my car becomes a victim of random acts of fly-by fwopping. Not just little sparrow-size fwops either. These are fwops large enough to make you think twice about walking around without a hardhat and the sun bakes the fwop onto the paint.
But back to the topic of your blog, Mitch. My sadness runs deep knowing that the Samurai Deli will soon be shut down by the government.
7. Mitch Mulhall | August 4th, 2008 at 8:14 am
I'm to blame for this foray into the ornithologically excremental... but since we're there, earlier last spring, the GSPI took a picture of several pelicans resting on a lake near New Castle, as I recall. While there's no way of knowing from whence it came, whether eagle, blue herron, or perhaps visiting Pelican, the bird that nailed my wife's car was no constipated sparrow. It was like a highway striping truck had flown over and turned on the white and yellow paint at the same time. The stripe started at the edge of my driveway, over my wife's car, and into the neighbor's front yard. Whatever it was, I'm quite certain that bird gained considerable altitude.
Bummer about Samurai...
Cheers,
8. Wharf Rat | August 5th, 2008 at 11:34 am
Mitch,
That is brilliant! Glad I didn't miss it. Just remember, knives don't kill people...neocons kill people.
9. Mitch Mulhall | August 5th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
Rat,
Two comments in one evening. How uncharacteristic of you.
[Just remember, knives don't kill people...neocons kill people.]
That's what G and the Con Man keep telling me. G would have me add Zionists to the soup. Anyway, I'm pleased you enjoyed the read.
Cheers,
10. reckless G | August 6th, 2008 at 6:48 am
Neocons, Zionists; same smell
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