Never Buy Cracklin’ From A Mohel
August 23rd, 2008 at 12:17am Mitch Mulhall 171
I thought about signing up for the now-near-famous-and-yet-to-happen Obama text message announcing his VP choice, but I detest cell phone text messaging on principle. I spent too many years studying English literature, refining my usage, and expanding my vocabulary to find the hackneyed, vanity-plate-brevity of text messaging a form of meaningful communication. And besides, while Obama has a rich field of experienced politicians to choose from, I have particularly high hopes for one possible outcome.
I hope candidate Obama picks Senator Joe Biden for Vice President. The very idea of it makes me giddy over the rich entertainment possibilities. Don’t get me wrong. Senator Biden can wax eloquent, and I’ll confess he’s asserted some ideas I can get with. But he has less control over his mouth than former President Clinton has over his zipper.
Yesterday Senator Biden was very dismissive of the possibility of becoming Obama’s running mate. On his way to a round of golf, Senator Biden all but told reporters they were looking under the wrong rock. Still, the talking heads in both major and minor media outlets have been quick to toss Biden into the VP mix as an obvious remedy to Obama’s dismal foreign policy experience. Whenever I hear pundits of any stripe go in deep for Biden, I grin from ear-to-ear and knock on wood, knowing this could easily lead to gaffes that get more mileage than Dick Cheney hitting Harry Whittington in the face with bird shot.
When it comes to Biden, I’m not talking about the plagiarism charges wielded by the Dukakis campaign that knocked Joe out of the ’88 race. Nah, as far as I’m concerned, that’s Quayle “potatoes.” I’m talking about stuff like this:
Think about it. We’ve gone from Biden describing Obama as, “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy," to Obama apparently considering Biden as a running mate. Clean? As opposed to what? The floorboards of my truck? You can’t make this stuff up.
If the Con Man’s right that Obama is a virtual shoe-in for the next President—and there’s plenty of reason for me to believe he is—I may write-in Joe Biden for VP no matter who McCain picks.
Update: NBC's Lester Holt reports; LA Times Reports: Obama has selected Joe Biden as his running mate.
Cheers,
1 Comment Add your own
1. reckless G | August 26th, 2008 at 10:26 am
Mitch,
I’ve been meaning to comment on this but the intriguing Wharf Rat v. Con Man tussle has been distracting me.
Surprisingly, the choice of Biden as Obama’s runningmate MIGHT be enough to make me cast my vote in their direction. I’ve actually admired Biden for a number of years for the very reason you mock him. There is something more real about a politician who gaffes than the slick polished version that is so careful about everything they say that they end up saying nothing. Biden is like a box of chocolates, and I like chocolates, even the sour lemony one or the biting mint, even though they are not my preference. I’d rather have somewhat disturbingly flavored chocolates than none at all. Besides, it would be a relief to have Jar Jar Binks in that position after eight years with Darth Vader. And as an added bonus, I’m imagining Daily Show segments on a par with those directed at the current administration’s verbal blunders.
I like to eat chocolates, I like Star Wars and I like to laugh, therefore; I like Biden. Will I vote for Obama the Clone on account of Jar Jar? Mmmmm…maybe.
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