All the buzz at Sundance, Director Randall Miller presents this true story of Napa's wine industry in the 1970s. Bottle Shock is showing tonight, 7:30 PM at the Wheeler Opera House.
Sometimes Post blogger Keith Hemstreet gets depressed about the excessive wealth in Aspen. Not only is Keith excluded from the wealthy elite, he doesn't even have a clue as to how he would go about becoming rich. "Aspen is unique in that everyone is exceedingly wealthy," writes Hemstreet, "or is about to become so. For example, the guy who makes balloon animals on the weekends is about to become the richest man in New Zealand. It’s true. He told me so himself. First, he needs to save up enough money to buy a plane ticket to Auckland, but that’s a minor detail. Once he gets himself there, he’s going to present a plan to the government that will not only make him a billionaire many times over."
Post blogger Keith Hemstreet provides Onion-esque satire latest blog titled, "Majority of Nation's Youth Believe Jesus was American."
Hemstreet writes, "A recent study conducted by New Millennium Research, Inc., reported that 53 percent of U.S. high school students believe that Jesus Christ was an American. 'Quite honestly I was shocked,' said John Waterhouse, Chief of the Juvenile Research Division. 'Most multiple choice questions include what we call a give me,' Waterhouse explained, referring to the answer that is very obviously incorrect. 'American was the give me.'”
Aspen is unique in that everyone is exceedingly wealthy, or is about to become so.
For example, the guy who makes balloon animals on the weekends is about to become the richest man in New Zealand. It’s true. He told me so himself. First, he needs to save up enough money to buy a plane ticket to Auckland, but that’s a minor detail. Once he gets himself there, he’s going to present a plan to the government that will not only make him a billionaire many times over, but also flood the country’s vaults with more money than they could possibly spend. (The government of New Zealand is apparently very open to meetings with anyone, even vagrant, balloon artists.)
A recent study conducted by New Millennium Research, Inc., reported that 53 percent of U.S. high school students believe that Jesus Christ was an American.
“Quite honestly I was shocked,” said John Waterhouse, Chief of the Juvenile Research Division.
“Most multiple choice questions include what we call a ‘give me,’” Waterhouse explained, referring to the answer that is very obviously incorrect. “American was the give me. ”
This weekend, the Aspen Institute welcomed the Dalai Lama as its keynote speaker for a symposium on Tibetan culture, art, science, and spiritualism. Keith Hemstreet caught up with His Holiness for a brief interview at the J-Bar.
I recently stepped into church, knelt down, and began to pray. You can imagine my surprise when someone responded. The one-act play below is a transcription of the conversation that followed. I must inform the reader, my memory is infallibly photographic. Therefore, the dialogue’s authenticity is guaranteed. Not a single word has been changed.
In the interests of full disclosure I first have to say Theatre Aspen is a sponsor of my "Con Games" radio show and so I am predisposed to like what I see. But I should also point out that no one bemoaned the loss of former artistic director David McClendon any more than me--he was both a friend also a person who I believe lifted the company out of the primordial ooze. Loving Theatre Aspen without my good friend around has been a monumental task: this town has not been the same for me since he left.
With disclosure in the books and off my chest, I can also say--based on performances of "Little Shop of Horrors" and the premier of "Rounding Third" Thursday night under the tent in Rio Grande Park--that Theatre Aspen is on the way to something special under artistic director Paige Price in the continuing evolution of what used to be an off-the-beaten-track venue for community theatre in the valley.
When I was in sixth grade we took a field trip to the Lake Worth Community Pool. I had just purchased a new bathing suit for the occasion. A Quicksilver, checkerboard number that matched very nicely with my checkerboard shoes. I believe I even wore a checkerboard hat, which would have been logical.
Every sixth grade class in the district was at the pool that day, so it was important that I make a statement. And I did. I was the dumb ass checkerboarded from head to toe.
Last week it was reported that a gang of beavers flooded Highway 82. Most probably wrote this off as an unfortunate accident, but I’ve been told by a credible source that it was no accident at all. The beavers flooded our highway on purpose.
I read in Friday’s Aspen Times that off-leach dogs may soon be allowed to run free on Smuggler Road. Judging by all of the un-leached dogs you see scampering up and down this popular hiking trail each day, you’d have thought this was already law. I wish I’d known that dogs were required to be leached. I would have strapped a billy club to my belt and made hundreds of citizen arrests by now.
I am having a difficult time deciding which presidential candidate would receive my vote come November, should I actually remember to vote. I think my problem is that I know very little about the candidates, other than the basics; white man; black man, white woman…Republican, Democrat, Democrat…war hero, dynamic speaker, wife of Bill…old as mummy dust, young and inexperienced, middle aged and somewhat bitchy, etc.
Ideally, I’d dedicate the time to read the most recent book written by each candidate in order to gain a better understanding of who they are as a person, but that would mean I would have to read three books, so, forget it.
